Ok, the worst has happened.  I've been looking for it, but it was still a stunner...I was fired!!  I've had so many absences the past few months from MD attacks, they finally said they could not keep me in their employ.  Its sort of a relief; it was getting very difficult and I have nearly passed out there several times.  But on the other hand, I'm back to square one; no money, my electric bill is astronomical and beyond paying rent for this month, I'm screwed.  No gas in my car, no food in the house, and I don't have many prospects for work (and to be honest, I'm afraid to even find a job...I just know its going to be the same)  The worst part is, I made some good friends at work and when I said goodbye to the two I'm closest to, it broke my heart.  I can honestly say I did give it my all and I have nothing to be ashamed of.  I went to get my final check and discovered they had cheated me out of 10 hours.  I bet thats going to be a battle!!

The past couple of days have been bad; my depression is back and its really causing havic with the MD.  I was all full of confidence Tuesday, but by the end of the week and realizing I'm going to have to give up my apt has just crashed everything down around my ears.  That means moving all my stuff to God knows where and then having to depend on the generosity of others again.  I hate being a burden on anyone...I will probably end up at my mom's again.  The kids have too much on their plate to have to deal with me there, and there is no one else I want to put such a bind on. 

Still no word on disability case.  I finally have decided to send a letter to a state Senator, asking for his assistance in getting something going.  Who knows, that just might be the push I need to get things going at last.