This page is a long time in coming.  As much as I wanted to have a tribute to the man who was everything to me, its still very difficult, even after 5 years, to be able to do anything of any significance regarding Tom without my breaking down.  His memory deserves much more than I could possibly put on a website, but I'm going to try my best.

~~~~~

I met Tom in August of 1990.  My first impression of him was while a bit silly, he was a happy-go-lucky man, full of happiness and fun.  It wasn't long before I found myself completely and hopelessly in love with his vitality, open and honest personality, and most of all, his humor.  Tom brought laughter and smiles to anyone who knew him.  No barb, slight, or criticism got under his skin.  He shrugged them off with a smile and a joke.  I've never known anyone like him in my life.

We married on an early spring day, April 18, 1992.  It was the happiest day of my life.  I not only gained a soul mate, but a 7 year old stepdaughter, Jessica, who brought a certain light in my life, and also a wonderful role model for my son, James.  Tom took James under his wing and taught him so much; fishing, farming, wrestling...but most importantly, he taught him the basics of being an exceptional father.  With Tom, my son participated in sports (youth and high school wrestling, football and baseball), saw sights he never would have seen before, learned things he wouldn't have learned before (raising sheep and chickens, building a club house, fishing, driving), and received more love and acceptance than I believe any other man could have tried to give him.  My son now models his parenting skills as close to Tom's as he can.

Tom's most prized achievement, in his opinion, was his daughter.  He lived, breathed, and bled for Jessica.  His weekends were devoted to her visits with us, and anything she or James wanted or needed were theirs, within reason.  He was proud of his daughter and would have laid down his life for her.  That was another big factor in my choosing him to be a stepfather to my son.

Our life together was a dream come true.  We had our ups and downs, financial woes and worries, but we tackled all of life's problems together and pulled through every time.  In today's world of easy divorce and separation, we could not stand the thought of not working things through and we planned to never be apart.  We both had had bad marriages before and were determined that we would grow old together, as marriage should be.

Our dream was shattered on July 8, 2000, when Tom was killed by a speeding voluntary firefighter who was "supposedly" responding to another accident  call.  He slammed into our car at a speed of 75 mph, not even attempting to swerve away.  The skid marks measured 103 feet - knocking our car into the ditch backwards.  Tom was thrown into the wreckage of the entire passenger side, breaking all of his ribs, and slamming the pieces into his heart and lungs.  Although rescue tried for 30 minutes, me by his side, holding his hand on the hot July pavement, he never responded.  He died on impact.  His 14 year old daughter watched the whole impact from inside her house.  I had turned away from the window just before the other car slammed into him, which spared me of the horrible sight.  Jessica will never be the same. 

A wrongful death case was filed against the other man, but Missouri law recently set in effect that any emergency vehicle involved in  an accident will be held harmless in case of a death.  Tom died  nothing more than a squirrel in the road to this law and his death was in vain. 

Tom was survived by not only me, his wife, Jessica, his now 20 year old daughter, and James, my son who is 24, but also his mother, Lois, his stepmother, Deana, 4 brothers; Roger, Mike, Tim, Charlie, and one sister, Patti.  His father, Charles, died last year.  He had 6 nephews, 4 nieces, and now 2 grandchildren, Fallon and Thomas James (named for him).

My life will never be the same without Tom by my side, but I can say my life has been enriched by the lessons he's taught me.  I still feel his love within me, and his spirit dwells within my walls no matter where I live.

Sleep well, my darling Sweet Baboo...

IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES
 

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you" s,
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,


 

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight..

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear,

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me,"
"thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today
 

Tom, I will always love you.
 

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